… Thankfully, God is not confused.
While my dream of walking down the Aisle someday has remained unchanged since I was a little girl, and sometimes felt urgent, I cannot say the same of my dream husband. My image of him has evolved significantly. It’s been shaped and reshaped by knowledge, experience, age, fear, harsh realities, heartbreak, a tint of depression, failure, success, the Pareto Principle and, above all, submission to God.
As a kid, I had a HUGE crush on Michael Jackson (MJ) – the earlier version of MJ to be precise (You know he evolved quite a bit). He was the smooth criminal who stole my heart. I even used to fantasize that he proposed to me during one of his concerts. Lol! I’m sure I was hardly alone. There was also Fresh Prince of Bel Air. He looked so fresh that he redefined my vision of prince charming. The story line of the movie, Coming to America, had me daydreaming about marrying an unassuming prince someday.
That phase passed. I grew older and I wish I could say wiser. As a teenager, I fancied a husband who was taller, had a great smile with two dimples, good hair texture (to compensate for mine), hardworking, a skilled communicator, deeply caring, of good character and a Christian. Naïve huh? .
In my late teens/early twenties, I inadvertently contracted the “Man of God” dream husband fever. In case you are wondering, a “Man of God” refers to a man who sweats profusely when preaching, so much that he looks heavily anointed, as with oil. 😊 Just kidding. This category is comprised of those in the fivefold ministry listed in Ephesians 4:11 (Apostle, Prophet, Evangelist, Pastor, Teacher). I was more inclined towards the Pastor option. I didn’t play gimmicks to get any Pastor’s attention. Just hoped quietly. If that failed, then perhaps a worship leader would do. The pastor/worship leader had to be good looking to me though, or is it true that God’s anointing has cosmetic effects? Anyways, when I realised that being a Pastor’s wife was not my calling, I thanked God for unanswered prayers and quickly modified my #FutureHusbandGoals.
At some point in my life, my prayers for a spouse went like this, not literally but it captures the broad idea: “Dear God, please give me a husband who, Like Enoch, walks with You; a man who is divinely purpose driven … and oh, I am willing to negotiate some of the physical attributes – you know, modify the height parameters and reduce the number of dimples to one. The age and nationality are also up for discussion. Amen” Lol, thankfully God is not confused. Bottom line? I made some readjustments, staying true to godly standards, although I sometimes dabbled. One of such times, when I was praying for Mr. Right like “the most wanted man,” (due to mounting social pressure), I was tempted to revisit some of my standards. If it were possible, I would have downgraded core nonnegotiable godly values (#Be Spirit-Led, Not Pressured). I even momentarily rationalised the idea of settling with someone who didn’t believe in Jesus Christ, an experience I shared in a previous post titled “Mr. Wrong.” If you missed it, click here .
So, what do I currently look for in a potential spouse? Well…I am sorry to disappoint. The goal of this post is not to give you pointers on who to pair me up with (lol). Neither is it tell you what qualities you should seek. Truth is, if marriage is on your check list, then you probably already have a mental picture (however faint) of the kind of person you might be drawn to. That’s totally okay. Perhaps you hold idealistic, realistic, basic or evolving standards for your future spouse. That’s okay too. More importantly, we gain much wisdom and guidance by submitting our desires to God and being open to His leadership. #GodKnowsBest #TrustHisGuidance.
Proverbs 3:6 – In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
God Bless you,