“Hey Beautiful, I hope you had a good night. I will stop by your office on my way to work this morning – just to admire you and wish you a good day. I love you so much and can no longer resist your charm. See you soon. Kisses 💋❤️”
This is one in a series of tantalizing text messages sent me by “Mr. Wrong” – a young dynamic high-ranking personality, who is also married with kids. Yet, he remains persistent on forging some form of intimate relationship with me, at any cost.
To be honest, and strangely so, his message momentarily refueled my self confidence tank 🙈– I was running low that morning. I knew fully well that this was a perfect specimen of forbidden love and had no intention to reciprocate. Still, in the spur of that moment, it just felt delightful to be admired, wanted and called “beautiful.” So, I briefly relished the text message before pinching myself: “Lord have mercy!”
After pleading for mercy, you’d think I’d be a darling Christian and promptly hit reply to say something like: “I don’t appreciate receiving such text messages from you,” along with a mini sermon on lust and how he needed Jesus? Not quite. My mind just wondered …
First, I thought about other men with similar profiles who’ve pursued me: loving, understanding, intelligent, visionary, charming and…married or single but straight up against/“just not that into God;” the not so serious Christians too.
Then, I began wishing and rationalizing … If only “A” was single; if only “B” was more serious with God; if only “C” at least believed in God; if only I didn’t believe in God? (Not an option!); … Okay, let’s see how we can circumvent this. Maybe I could convert “C”? Heck, does it really matter if we didn’t share the same Christian foundation? After all, aren’t there many successful non-Christian marriages out there, just as there are many failed Christian marriages? (Google the statistics)
Don’t get me wrong. As an “old convert” and a Pastor’s grandkid, I’ve long inscribed 2 Corinthians 6:14 on my “heart-post.” 😊 “Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers” is the bear minimum. I know that doing the contrary is disobedience, that darkness and light have nothing in common. I’ve read about the Israelites’ ordeal – when they disobeyed God by intermarrying with idol worshipers (Canaanites, Jebusites, Ammonites, Hittites etc. – Judges 3:6). Samson and Delilah? Popular Sunday school story. I’ve also listened to several instructive sermons on the subject. Well armed, right? So, on that fine morning, why did I briefly savour a text message I should’ve been immediately and holily angered by? Why did I catch myself feeding on the affection, emotional investment and compliment of someone I knew I had no such future with? Why do I sometimes feel conflicted over something so straightforward?
Well, perhaps because I’ve met some really “nice” unbelievers, and some rather lame Christians? 😊 Lol. Seriously though, I have no exonerating justification. It’s just one of the mysteries I’ve encountered in this place of waiting – the paradox of praying for Mr. Right and being sweetly pursued by Mr. Wrong. I admit I haven’t always navigated this curve as wisely as I’d love to. Sometimes, I am more forthright with my stop sign; other times, I’m just mute – inadvertently sending mixed signals about my boundaries. One time, I even wished I had the power to miraculously transform a certain Mr. Wrong to Right and wondered why a loving Omnipotent God wouldn’t. #ThisCupOfSingleness
In my heart of hearts though, I’m totally keen on honouring God. Thus, as alluring as it sometimes is, I chose not to fan the flames of anything (feeling, desire, relationship, conversation etc) that’s not a gift from God; and to trust the wisdom of God’s boundaries. #NoteToSelf: Waiting out is better than hurting in. Still, it gets challenging sometimes, especially when the waiting seems prolonged or when I am dealing with all the other stuff I’ve written about in previous posts. So, allow me to invite you to a word of prayer as I close this post (a big shout out to @prhoperpoodle for the inspiration):
Dear God, it sucks to be praying for Mr. Right and pursued by Mr. Wrong. Please give my future husband a better GPS tracking device so that he can find me sooner. Thanks in advance God. Amen 😊
Psalm 140:1 “Rescue me, O LORD, from evil [ungodly] men; Preserve me from violent men [Mr. Wrong].”
God bless you,
The Christian Bachelorette.
Thank you for stopping by. If you liked this post, please feel free to share it on your social media platforms, leave a comment in the section here below and subscribe/follow to be notified of new posts. Apologies for the long pause and thanks for staying tuned. Next post on or before September 12, 2019.